He was super excited to see his old friends, to have a new playground with swings, and to be able to eat lunch at school. Pretty much all the things I was worried about.
Don't let this fool you. Trace can be pretty melo-dramatic at times and this was one of those times. He pretended to be all sad and lonely in the morning and then once we dropped Kayden off he never looked back. I asked him halfway through the day if he missed him and he said 'not weally mom.' The house was REALLY quiet. That's what I noticed most. There was no wrestling, yelling, lazer eyes, fighting (didn't mind that one) and he didn't really seem to mind. I'm sure it will wear off and Trace will one day be lonely but for now he's liking the time and space. 
This was like ripping off a band-aid. In kindergarten you get to walk right into their classroom and stay if you want to and make sure they hang up their backpacks and get to the right seat. This year they lined up on the playground and were marched into the big, scary, dark double doors JK. but really they just walked away. He was so very excited and I was embarrassed to be crying so I left my sunglasses on.
I had to, I promise I won't very often but the first day? I snuck in for lunch and am so glad I did. It was super fun to visit with him and make sure he was doing ok. Lunch is pretty quick, and there weren't many adults around to help out with little things like opening milk or putting straws in drinks and things like that but he'll be fine, right? I watched all the kids who bought school lunch and I guess they just go through a line and pick what they want so I started worrying if he buys lunch he'll end up with fries, chocolate milk and a hot dog. I know it's not the worst but come on! He loves fruits and veggies but I'm not sure if he understands to have healthy food at each meal either. At least packing a lunch I can somewhat control that. My friend is giving away these super cool lunchboxes here and I want one. For some reason I really worry about him eating and feeling rested so he can do his best every single day.
I know, you're probably thinking Trace gets the melo-dramatic from me but he doesn't. I'm usually a pretty chill person I think and let my kids do their thing but this was so hard. All day I thought of him and couldn't wait to pick him up. We didn't get home til almost 4 and by the time he had a snack and some downtime it was off to Tai Kwan Do. Then it was a quick dinner, bath and bedtime. I don't like only being with him for a few hours a day. I really need to get my act together so I can focus on my kids when they are with me now that the time is short.
Today was a little better. Still super sad to see him off and thinking about him a ton. I just want him to be happy, be nice to others, have the confidence in himself to do good and be good. It's made me think of a mission. I know I'm a nerd cause that's way far off but I've always been so super excited for my boys to have that opportunity. I see mom's weeping and wailing at their kids when they leave and I've always thought-that is ridiculous! Isn't this what you want for them? Shouldn't you be overflowing with pride (righteous of course) and excitement for them! And now I know, well just a little. Even when your kids are where you want them to be and doing what you want them to be doing, when they are away it still hurts, like crazy. Ugh
2 comments:
I still have a year to go until kindergarten and I already get anxiety thinking of sending my baby off into the cold, cruel world! I will so be one of those crying moms.
Oh Kayden looks so grown up eating lunch at school. He's a good boy and I'm certain he will make you proud. I know that I will be there soon hiding the tears behind very large sunglasses:)
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