My Dearest Kayden

My sweet Kayden. I can't believe we've had you for 4 years! Your daddy and I were so excited to find out you were coming to us. We got all ready and set up a room for you, had tons of clothes washed and ready! About 6 weeks before you were supposed to be born, I had a really hard day and felt very strongly that something was wrong. I called the Dr and talked to him and he told me not to worry about it. The Spirit was very strong and I knew I needed to get to the hospital so about an hour later we headed up. Sure enough your little body was pretty stressed so they decided to take the risk of you being so early and start me.

28 hours and 3 priesthood blessings later, we saw you for 1 split second as you were wisked away to the NICU. I didn't hear you cry for almost a month, I didn't get to hold you for 3 days, I didn't get to feed you for almost a month. But that was still such a sweet time of my life. I would drive to the hospital every day and hold you for 12-15 hours every day. I would sing to you, read to you, but mostly just stare at you and dream of your future and who you would grow up to be. So far, you have exceeded everything I dreamed of.

I am so proud of you Kayden. You are so smart and strong. I am amazed at the things you pick up and remember so quickly. I love to hear you sing and say your prayers. You are so active and busy. You make me laugh every day with your humor and love of life. Today Trace was crying and you looked at him and said "you are a sad, strange little man." When I aske dyou where that came from you said so matter of factly 'Buzz Light year said it to Woody mom.' You are a wonderful big brother. Just last week you taught Trace how to crawl out of his crib. I wasn't very happy about this but you were so cute as you jumped up and down and cheered him on. You gave him a big high five and said 'You did it Trace! I'm so proud of you, way to go buddy!'

You have such a wonderful love of learning. I think reading time is one of your favorite times of the day. I can read a book to you only a few times and you have it almost memorized. I love to watch your eyes light up in wonder as you imagine and create stories of your own. One of our favorite stories is called 'I'll Love you Forever.' I have been just like that mother many times. When I can't sleep I sneak into your room and hold you and stare at you and tell you how much I love you. In the book the mother tells her little boy:

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

As much as I can't wait to see all that you will accomplish and become in this life, I wish you could be my little boy forever. I love you Kayden!

This was the first time I could touch you. You had 17 needles/tubes in your little 5 pound body, and I could only hold onto your little foot.
This is the first time I got to hold you! I was pretty nervous
Daddy's first time holding you.
My handsome boy!